Honesty Night

First of all, sorry to my loyal one reader that I didn't get a chance to update last week. Apparently I have things I have to do sometimes? And sometimes there's a lot of those things? But the past is the past, and maybe this week will be better. We didn't miss much anyway, pretty much Cory and Topanga broke up, which is clearly a big freakin' deal. Like, the biggest. For all of you kids out there who don't understand the implications, this would be like if Gossip Girl broke up with...whoever it is that Gossip Girl dates. Astro Boy? Possibly.

But really, that's all we missed. 5 weeks of Cory and Topanga being broken up, and some other floozy was all up in Cory's junk, but he stayed true to the girl who he wasn't even dating anymore, because he's Cory, and he's kind of weird like that. And Topanga went on a date with another dude, and she DID kiss him, and then called him and said she never wanted to see him again. Ouch for that guy! But anyway, her and Cory got back together, because of course they did. Okay, everyone caught up? Good, let's continue.

Honesty Night:

The episode starts with a newly-reunited Cory and Topanga openly making out in the halls of the school. Feeny walks by, and instead of being a normal teacher and telling them to knock it off, he continues to defy expectations by ENCOURAGING THE PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION BY HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS. Creepy, Mr. Feeny! And it gets even creepier when the first thing that pops into his mind is how happy Shawn must be about this. Mr. Feeny seems to be a little to interested in everything that's going on here, and should really have been fired a long time ago.

This makes Cory and Topanga realize that they should have told Shawn that they were together already, and he'll probably cry and start drinking again (something else we didn't get to cover last week), so they decided to pretend to still be broken up so he can get them back together and they can all high five each other or whatever. Sure, very normal thing to do.

Only it doesn't work! Shawn is so terrible at everything, he actually manages to re-break them up! So Cory tells Shawn how terribly he has ruined everybody's lives, and Shawn decides to make it even worse by holding an intervention. Meanwhile, Eric has a new page-a-day calendar that does nothing but further degrade his character, which seems to be a recurring theme of the college years. Anyway, the intervention is a huge failure, obviously, because Shawn is as good at helping others as he is at helping himself. NOT VERY GOOD AT ALL.

Cut to Chubby's, where Cory and Topanga are sitting with their backs to each other as all people do when they have recently broken up, and then things get really crazy. Cory's parents walk into Chubby's, have a fight, make up, and then leave. Seriously, that's all they did there. Apparently it was all a clever set-up by Shawn, only it really wasn't so clever, since it was fairly obviously a set-up, as they had no reason to be there at all, not to mention the fact that the entire point they seemed to make was "stay in an emotionally abusive relationship just because that is what grown people do", which is not really okay. Still, though, bonus points to Shawn for getting the supposedly responsible adults to go along with this terrible, terrible plan.

That's pretty much the end, except for one more scene where Eric is almost smart but then isn't, and Mr. Feeny refers to the Matthews as "a house full of psychos," which they are, but that's sort of the pot calling the kettle psycho, isn't it? Whatever, at least there's still no Rachel.

Things Shawn Can't Do:

Reunite estranged couples.
Hold an intervention.

Quote Of The Episode:

Eric: "That's the last time I buy anything from http:/www.howdysucker.com!"

It's kind of hard to write this one down, since you really have to hear it to understand that he actually said it that way. With every letter and symbol, and he actually left a symbol out of what would be a valid web address. I'm not sure if this was supposed to be funny, or if it was the 90s when people didn't realize that there were normal ways of speaking about the internet. Either way, it's hilarious for reasons the writers didn't intend.