Pilot

Welcome back to The Boy Meets World Report! As you may have noticed, I've been absent for some time, mostly due to a lack of free time, but also in part because of Rachel. But I've received several signs that it's time for me to start back up, not the least of which was ABC Family finishing their current run and returning to the beginning. So her we go, from now until I get bored with this thing again!

Pilot:

Well, this is different! It's easy to get so caught up in the insanity of this series that you forget how relatively tame it was when it began. It's hardly recognizable as the same show. On the one hand, there's no Topanga, very little Shawn, and Eric was a normal adolescent of seemingly average intelligence. But on the other hand, there's still plenty of creepy Feeny and bizarre hijinks to go around, so we'll continue with the mockery.

The central theme of this episode is love, which is a strange choice for the pilot episode of a show aimed at pre-adolescents, I think? But hey, the show lasted seven years, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about! Anyway, it opens with Feeny teaching the kids about Romeo and Juliet, having it acted out by the students, one of whom is a fat, sassy black girl (an early Angela appearance, perhaps?), and the other one of whom is Squints Palledorous. Cory gets detention for listening to a baseball game in class on his hilariously outdated pocket radio, and then to make matters worse, Eric is taking a girl to a baseball game instead of Cory! Apparently, in the early seasons, Cory was hardcore into baseball. Like, it pretty much featured prominently in almost every episode of the first season. Then they just drop that and never mention it again, because apparently THAT was the show's big problem? I guess? Anyway, for now, he's still way into it, so he gets all huffy and decides to move full-time into his treehouse. And his parents, being the great, nurturing providers that they are, they just let him. It's good that they made it clear from the very first episode that the Matthews are just the WORST parents. These guys put the Bundy family to shame!

While he's in his treehouse, Cory spots Feeny getting stood up by his lady friend, which is a lot funnier than it was meant to be. Especially since it will be several seasons until the romantic aspect of Feeny's life is brought up again, so this one even apparently destroyed his ability to love for years. Hilarious! So when Cory has to serve his detention, he just hardcore slams Feeny for having had dinner alone, and Feeny gets all up on his high horse and just starts going on about love, and how Cory's family all love each other, which is really a bold move for an old man who has lived alone for his entire life.

So Cory goes home and decides to move back into his parents' house, which they reluctantly agree to (again, the worst!), and he apologizes for getting mad at Eric and tells him not to give up on this girl, that he should ask her out again. Apparently Cory still doesn't know the difference between love and lust, because everybody in charge of his education is at the very most only half competent.

What Is Wrong With Feeny?:

Feeny: "I spend 4 hours with you every morning and 3 hours every afternoon. Now get out of my face!"

What is wrong with Feeny for talking to a child like that, but also what is wrong with this school that they only have one man who teaches these students all day? He is the worst teacher in the worst school!

Quote Of The Episode:


Cory: "I earned those tickets! I've slept with him for 11 years!"

Okay, I realize that they're brothers, and they share a room, and this is meant to be an innocent joke, but still, they're pretty much implying that Cory is involved in homosexual incest in return for tickets to a baseball game. That's a pretty weird thing to imply!