Brothers

Ugh. This is where everything started to go downhill for Boy Meets World. Not to use tired cliches or anything, but this is definitely where the show jumped over SOMETHING unpleasant. Still, a promise is a promise, so I shall continue to watch these every morning and share it with you, my faitfhul reader(s?). YOU SEE WHAT I DO FOR YOU?!

Brothers:

The episode starts with a really bizarre fantasy sequence involving attractive teachers and Mr. Feeny dressed as a chef, which is really far less interesting than it sounds, and basically only serves to let us know that Shawn and Cory are now seniors. This is never referenced again until a throwaway joke at the end of the episode, so I'm not sure why they thought it was so important that they should start the whole season with it, but I guess that's not why I'm a big writer in Hollywood. I GUESS.

After the pointless intro, we learn that Cory is excited that Eric has moved out, and chooses to celebrate by decorating his room with candles and buying a mattress, which is pretty odd behavior for a guy in high school, but to each his own, I suppose. Only it turns out that Eric is moving back in! And Cory and his mom are totally pissed about this, because they don't really like Eric, I suppose, but his dad is thrilled that his grown son refuses to move out of the house, and goes to play basketball with him in celebration. This family has some weird reactions to things, you guys.

Naturally, Cory wants Eric out, so he spends the day trying to find him a new place to live (instead of going to school? I mean, this is the day after the start of the school year, so it shouldn't be a weekend yet), but Eric is picky and won't settle for just anything! Luckily, someone randomly walks into Chubby's and announces that they need a roommate, which is totally normal behavior that would not raise red flags for anybody! Of course Cory jumps all over the chance to force his brother to move in with this perfectly normal person, but OH NOES! It turns out this is Shawn's long-lost half-brother, Jack!

Let me just interrupt here to clear a few things up for those of you who might not know about Matt Lawrence, the actor who plays Jack. He is the middlest of the Lawrence brothers, which were sort of like The Jonas Brothers without the virginity and the singing. In other words, they're a no-talent fraternal nightmare that only exists to make you hate them. I'm not saying that Matt Lawrence single-handedly ruined the show (we'll get to Rachel soon enough), but he's certainly a harbinger of doom.

Anyway, back to the episode: it turns out that Shawn has this half-brother that Cory didn't know about even though they have been best friends their entire lives, because Shawn hasn't seen him in forever, yet he somehow immediately recognized him when he saw him in Chubby's. Right, okay, sure. So Shawn gets upset at Jack because Jack hasn't been around, even though how could he, he was a high school student up until this year, he really had no choice as to where he lived. I suspect that Shawn has only a very loose grasp on reality. So Jack goes to Shawn's house, and his dad is happy to see him and immediately decides that Shawn, his underage child who is still in high school, should go live with this person that he essentially just met. Good parenting, Chet! Shawn refuses for some reason, so Chet gives Jack his jacket, and I really have no idea why anything is happening here. Did David Lynch direct this episode?

Later, at the Matthews residence, Shawn basically says that Alan is a bad father when he is RIGHT IN THE ROOM, which furthers my theory that Shawn has no idea what is going on around him. So Alan kicks Eric out of the house, and he moves in with Jack, who has really been acting like a crazy man this whole episode. And not good crazy. Single White Female crazy. Like, he asks all of these really personal questions of Eric that people should not be asking when they first meet their roommate. These are questions you ask on a second or third date. Whatever, Jack, you've definitely got some Hunter blood running through those veins! It turns out that Shawn moved in with them too, because for some reason he is no longer against the idea, and Chet gives them his toaster. Not a new toaster, his old, used toaster. Distancing yourself from loved ones and giving away your personal possessions are usually indicators that someone is contemplating suicide, but Jack and Shawn are not interested in anything besides Shawn and Jack, irrespectively, so they let Chet go home to get shitfaced and see how hard he has to press on the blade before he starts to bleed, or whatever. This show, you guys. Clearly the best!

Quote Of The Episode:

Jack: "Favorite color on 3."

Jack and Eric together: "One, two, three, blue!"

Awesome! This is definitely what you want to do the first time you meet a potential roommate!