Things Change

Whoo boy, who's ready for some full-on Cory psychosis? This is really one of the more entertaining themes of the show, when Cory just flips the hell out for half an hour. This never actually accomplishes anything, but it's good fun to watch. Plus, Angela gets more exposure here than she probably has in any other episode we've covered, which isn't saying much since she probably has three lines in this entire episode. But she's still hanging in there! Good for you, Angela!

Things Change:

Cory and the Funky Bunch are sitting around in Chubbie's, and Cory has all of their letters from Pembrook, which apparently all arrived on the same day, and also Cory is strange for checking his friends' mail. But whatever, he's done worse. So they all open their letters, and they've all gotten in, except UH OH, Shawn is only on the wait list! This prompts Cory to just go totally apeshit, because heaven forbid his friend might not be able to go to the same college as him! So Cory starts basically ruining the futures of other students by convincing them to go to worse colleges, totally destroying their lives just so he and his boyfriend can be in class together. See? I told you he's done worse.

Meanwhile, Shawn has taken a job at a photo lab, and is already able to develop pictures in a dark room, because apparently it is an easy skill to just pick up in a day or so. Cory barges into the dark room, which would totally ruin the pictures and probably upset the owner, but really, it's his own fault since he seems to have left his dark room easily accessible to anybody who wanders by. This scene isn't really important to anything, but it IS interesting to note that Shawn mentions his boss is named Johnathan. Mr. Turner opened a photo developing place after his motorcycle crash? Good to know!

The gang all meet up at Chubbie's again, and Shawn has gotten a new letter from Pembrook already! Even though it's been what, 2 days? Quick college. It turns out Cory destroyed enough lives to get Shawn in, but he has decided to work at the photo booth full time instead. Good decision, Shawn! Way to think things through!

At this point, Cory goes from being slightly neurotic to just straight-up asshole. He publicly humiliates Shawn, verbally abuses Topanga, and completely ignores the wants and needs of everybody around him. This episode so far has pretty much been all about Cory's rapid decline to the dark side. Kind of an Anakin Skywalker story, but with way more whining.

After finding out that Shawn isn't going to college and Topanga didn't get accepted to Yale, and being a total dick about both of those things, Cory runs to Mr. Feeny, because he seems to think that man has the right answer for ANYTHING. Pro tip: he does not. Cory tells Mr. Feeny to talk some sense into Shawn, and Feeny says that he was just on the phone with him and wished him good luck in his job. WHAT?! Not only is that terrible mentoring, but WHY IS MR. FEENY TALKING ON THE PHONE TO HIS STUDENTS?! This is not how a normal teacher behaves! This is how a creep behaves. But it gets worse! Turns out Feeny is retiring and moving to Wyoming. Even though Cory is moving on to college and this SHOULDN'T bother him, he flips out even more. Then Topanga shows up, and it turns out she really DID get into Yale! And I guess she was just joking earlier, about not being able to get in? Good joke, Topanga! You deserve to be verbally abused.

Cory and Morgan go to Chubbie's, where he talks about how Morgan is the only thing in his life not changing, which is kind of hilarious, since he is actually talking to the second actress to play Morgan. I would think this was some sort of intended irony, except it wasn't, because this is Boy Meets World we're talking about. So just as he's going on about his usual booth at Chubbie's, we find out that the restaurant has apparently been renamed Peg-Leg Pete's, and has taken on a pirate them. And by pirate theme, I mean that the waitress put on pirate clothes and the menu item names have changed, and absolutely nothing else has been done to the place. Cory gets upset AGAIN, although it's kind of understandable this time, since we saw during the scene transition that the sign out front still says "Chubbie's". During his ranting and raving, Eric shows up, says a few words to Cory, and everything is suddenly better. He is totally fine with the fact that people have plans outside of his control, and everything is just fine and dandy, until Eric takes over as drama queen and starts freaking out about the whole Feeny thing, which is even weirder, because he hasn't been Feeny's student for like 3 years now. Plus he thinks Wyoming is in Hawaii, thus completing Eric's rapid descent into "comic relief" territory. If your sitcom needs comic relief, it is probably time to rethink your sitcom. But it's still better than Rachel.

Things Shawn Can't Do:
Get into college on his own
Make smart life decisions

NEW FEATURE!

What Is Wrong With Feeny?:

Cory: "I need you to talk to Shawn"

Feeny: "As a matter of fact, I was just on the phone with him"

Why is this guy still allowed around children?

Quote Of The Episode:

We have a tie today, pretty much Cory just being a total dickface to his so-called "loved ones."

Cory: "Everyone, can I have your attention for a minute? My best friend, Shawn Hunter-"

Shawn: "I think I'm going to take the job"

Cory: "...is throwing away his entire life."

and


Topanga: "Cory, I feel awful."

Cory: "About what?"

Topanga: "Not getting into Yale."

Cory: "Yale?! Shawn couldn't get into Yale. I mean, YOU could hardly get into Yale!"

Ouch! Way to be a good friend, Cory!

Honesty Night

First of all, sorry to my loyal one reader that I didn't get a chance to update last week. Apparently I have things I have to do sometimes? And sometimes there's a lot of those things? But the past is the past, and maybe this week will be better. We didn't miss much anyway, pretty much Cory and Topanga broke up, which is clearly a big freakin' deal. Like, the biggest. For all of you kids out there who don't understand the implications, this would be like if Gossip Girl broke up with...whoever it is that Gossip Girl dates. Astro Boy? Possibly.

But really, that's all we missed. 5 weeks of Cory and Topanga being broken up, and some other floozy was all up in Cory's junk, but he stayed true to the girl who he wasn't even dating anymore, because he's Cory, and he's kind of weird like that. And Topanga went on a date with another dude, and she DID kiss him, and then called him and said she never wanted to see him again. Ouch for that guy! But anyway, her and Cory got back together, because of course they did. Okay, everyone caught up? Good, let's continue.

Honesty Night:

The episode starts with a newly-reunited Cory and Topanga openly making out in the halls of the school. Feeny walks by, and instead of being a normal teacher and telling them to knock it off, he continues to defy expectations by ENCOURAGING THE PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION BY HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS. Creepy, Mr. Feeny! And it gets even creepier when the first thing that pops into his mind is how happy Shawn must be about this. Mr. Feeny seems to be a little to interested in everything that's going on here, and should really have been fired a long time ago.

This makes Cory and Topanga realize that they should have told Shawn that they were together already, and he'll probably cry and start drinking again (something else we didn't get to cover last week), so they decided to pretend to still be broken up so he can get them back together and they can all high five each other or whatever. Sure, very normal thing to do.

Only it doesn't work! Shawn is so terrible at everything, he actually manages to re-break them up! So Cory tells Shawn how terribly he has ruined everybody's lives, and Shawn decides to make it even worse by holding an intervention. Meanwhile, Eric has a new page-a-day calendar that does nothing but further degrade his character, which seems to be a recurring theme of the college years. Anyway, the intervention is a huge failure, obviously, because Shawn is as good at helping others as he is at helping himself. NOT VERY GOOD AT ALL.

Cut to Chubby's, where Cory and Topanga are sitting with their backs to each other as all people do when they have recently broken up, and then things get really crazy. Cory's parents walk into Chubby's, have a fight, make up, and then leave. Seriously, that's all they did there. Apparently it was all a clever set-up by Shawn, only it really wasn't so clever, since it was fairly obviously a set-up, as they had no reason to be there at all, not to mention the fact that the entire point they seemed to make was "stay in an emotionally abusive relationship just because that is what grown people do", which is not really okay. Still, though, bonus points to Shawn for getting the supposedly responsible adults to go along with this terrible, terrible plan.

That's pretty much the end, except for one more scene where Eric is almost smart but then isn't, and Mr. Feeny refers to the Matthews as "a house full of psychos," which they are, but that's sort of the pot calling the kettle psycho, isn't it? Whatever, at least there's still no Rachel.

Things Shawn Can't Do:

Reunite estranged couples.
Hold an intervention.

Quote Of The Episode:

Eric: "That's the last time I buy anything from http:/www.howdysucker.com!"

It's kind of hard to write this one down, since you really have to hear it to understand that he actually said it that way. With every letter and symbol, and he actually left a symbol out of what would be a valid web address. I'm not sure if this was supposed to be funny, or if it was the 90s when people didn't realize that there were normal ways of speaking about the internet. Either way, it's hilarious for reasons the writers didn't intend.